Orange Birds and Rainbow Leaves

At Kids Club last week, there was a group of volunteers that came in from a local church to help us out. I was sitting at the craft table with a couple of them as kids starting coming in. The craft that day was a coloring page about the parable of the sower. Images of a farmer, soil, plants, seeds, and birds covered the page. Little Sergio soon came to sit between me and one of the church volunteers to color. He reached for some "colors" and began coloring the sky purple and the plants pink. When he started scribbling orange over the birds, the woman on the other side of him took notice and said, "Hmm...I've never seen an orange bird before. Here, why don't you color the birds blue? Don't you think birds are blue?"

Here's a short back story before I continue:
When I was Sergio's age, a teacher once looked over my shoulder when I was coloring a person's face orange (Peach-colored markers are hard to come by). She said, "Hmm...I've never seen an orange person before," and walked away. I was devastated. She didn't like my orange person.

It's a rare occasion that I feel physically angry. Livid is probably an accurate adjective for how I felt. My first reaction was to want to cover Sergio's ears and scold her. But I took a breath and calmly said, "Well, I've seen orange finches..." She shrugged off my words: "Oh? Well here, let's color the plants green, not pink. And this dirt should be a nice brown. And a blue sky. I like blue skies."

I felt paralyzed. What could I say? This is not your drawing how dare you crush his imagination leave him alone and by the way what planet do you live on where birds are only blue? I sat there with my hands shaking, searching for an appropriate way to redeem the situation. Finally he finished and she said, "That's much better. You can go play now," and little Sergio made a beeline for the legos.

I comforted myself with the fact that this woman will not, Lord-willing, be coming back to Fletcher very soon. I prayed and waited for the right moment to talk to Sergio. It came yesterday morning when he was playing by himself. I sat beside him and said, "Hey Sergio, remember last week at Kids Club? We were coloring and that woman was telling you how to color your birds?" He thought for a moment. "Uh...yup." "Well, I just want you to know that when you color, you can use whatever colors you want. It doesn't matter what anyone says. You can color your birds orange, okay?" He smiled and was silent. Finally he said, "Will you play with me?"

Playing with Sergio yesterday was one of my favorite moments all year. We built an awesome boat together and it was priceless to see just how rich his imagination is. Sergio comes from an especially rough family situation. His skies are not always so blue. To see him come alive in the act of play is hope beyond hope to me.

Eventually we sat down to color. He reached for a coloring page of a girl. Hesitating for a moment, he reached for a violet-red crayon. As he began scribbling her all violet-red, he glanced up at me with a smile, and I'm pretty sure he winked at me.

 
The topic of imagination also came up a few prior at Kids Club. We were talking about the Kingdom of Heaven.

We had a half-hour before Kids Club and I still had to come up with a craft. As one who is wary of Christianese imagery of puffy clouds and angel babies with harps, I opened up to the book of Revelation for help. In chapter 22 I read: "Then the angel showed me the river of the water of life, as clear as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb down the middle of the great street of the city. On each side of the river stood the tree of life, bearing twelve crops of fruit, yielding its fruit every month. And the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations."

"On each side of the river stood the tree of life..." That phrase caught my attention. I drew the image above and made copies for the kids to color.

The kids were really excited to color this page, and began coloring away in unusual silence. Little Natalia climbed up on my lap and began to carefully color each leaf a different color. Mercedes, who had carefully begun her tree in brown and green, glanced across the table skeptically. In Spanish she said, "But leaves are neither blue nor purple nor pink." All of the children's faces around the table looked up at me to see what I would say. I replied, "But this is a special tree, the Tree of Life, in the New Jerusalem. Do you think perhaps the trees in heaven have leaves of all kinds of colors?" She thought for a moment. "Really? Like a rainbow?"  "A que sí! I bet so!" someone said. A few minutes later Mercedes reached for another page and began to carefully color each leaf a different color...

May God open our eyes and help us to dream again. In every color. Like a child.
Enjoy your day, friends.

Guest Post: "It's a good thing you're doing."

My lovely friend/teammate/worksite partner Abi York is great with words. Here are some of her latest:

http://abigailyork.wordpress.com/2013/05/01/its-a-good-thing-youre-doing/

It's cram time! But I'll try to write again soon...

Tracy

Keep dreaming!

A quick note on my future:

I've been mildly overwhelmed lately that my life could go in any direction from here. Never has it seemed so open-ended. When I dream about what I want to do with my life, it's not one, clear-cut answer. I cannot cram everything I would love to do into my daily rhythm. There's no magic formula that would allow me to be everything I would love to be on a weekly basis, although this is probably the closest I've ever come – an artist, volunteer, student, social activist, writer, farmer, musician, translator, missionary, athlete, community developer, etc. To an extent, I am all of these things right now. But eventually I wish to select one or two areas in which to really focus and invest myself. In order to make truly good art, I must invest hours in the studio each week. In order to be a truly effective social activist, I must do thorough research. I try to imagine the ideal set-up, the maximization of my gifts, talents, and dreams...but it seems that there will always be a deficiency somewhere. And I've realized that that's okay. I am free to live out God's dreams for my life in seasons. I'm living one right now. Right now! And the focus is service. And it's beautiful and good for this season, and right to embrace it. I cannot pursue every path I want to at once. But whichever path I choose can be good. As C. S. Lewis describes it, we must accept and embrace each new wave that comes to us, and not pine after the ones that have already come and gone.

That being said, I'm going to let my inner social activist steal the stage for the next few paragraphs...

This month, the House of Representatives PASSED the Trafficking Victims Protections Reauthorization Act! I do not know how to express to you how significant I believe this is.

...Let me back up a second:

I believe that we should not rely on a broken political system to fix problems. I believe, to quote Shane Claiborne, that “another kingdom is coming – one that you can participate in but cannot build, a seed you can plant and water but cannot make grow.” BUT...I also believe that we have a responsibility to act, even when we don't see results or experience tangible success. Whether or not you believe our government is good, the fact remains that our government officials have a responsibilty to listen to us. There is no excuse for us to not voice our concerns (and/or thanks) to our officials. Their job is to govern according to what the people demand. We hold a veritable influence in our own political system that many people in the world do not have. Let's take up that responsibility.

So, anyway, the TVPRA....

This is a foundational piece of legislation established in 2000; the first comprehensive federal law to address human trafficking, focusing on prevention, protection, and prosecution. As the crime evolves, the law must also evolve, which is why it must be renewed every few years. In 2011 it was not reauthorized, so one of the major focuses of our Act:s team my senior year of college was to push people to hold Congress accountable to reauthorizing it. Over a year later, it has been passed. To learn more about this bill, visit: http://www.ijm.org/docs/justice_campaigns/TVPA-Summary.pdf

Alright, now let's break this down into real life and take a look at Houston.

Some of us had the privelege of volunteering at a Free the Captives conference this past weekend (www.freethecaptiveshouston.com). It was encouraging to connect with people who desire to learn more about the injustice of human-trafficking and how we can combat it. In fact, Houston appears to be taking great strides in their fight, as is certainly necessary. Houston is estimated to be in the top six cities where trafficking takes place, due to its proximity to the Mexican border and the Gulf and its international airport, among other things.

Much of the information that was shared was not new to me. However, for the first time, I'm hearing this information and specific people and places are coming to mind. I know about houses in our communities where trafficking has taken place. I recognize the massage parlors and nail salons where it undoubtedly takes place. I know young girls whose moms encourage them to go out to the clubs. Our directors have the anti-trafficking hotline taped on their desks (1-888-373-7888). I have looked into the eyes of traffickers themselves and have seen their humanity. It has occurred to me recently that it has become normal for me to have conversations on a weekly basis with prostitutes, ex-convicts, and drug-dealers. There is a sweatshop down the street from where I work. We can all too quickly get caught up in statistics about justice issues and allow numbers to dehumanize the people behind them. Now, after having done some research over the past few years, I've found myself suddenly surrounded by the reality of it. On one hand, these people are becoming real to me. On the other hand, I now live in the danger of injustice becoming normalized.
...I must newly ask myself: What can I do?

So, let me close with a few cursory action items...

Human trafficking is a complex system; there is no simple solution to eradicating it because there are many layers. But that also means that there are so many ways to get involved:

Getting to the root of the problem: Porn. A key point to remember here is that human-trafficking is a system of supply and demand, and the demand is largely fueled by pornography. Learn more about reducing the demand: www.PornHarms.org

Rescue and Prosecution: Learn how to recognize suspicious activity and ask your government officials to DO something. And thank them for what they have done. Thank your Congressmen for passing the TVPRA!

Restoration: Girls who have been rescued need a safe place to go. Learn how to start a safe home for trafficked teens or how to help them rebuild lfe after the trauma. Support businesses like http://www.freethecaptiveshouston.com/new-creations.php that sells jewelry and soap handcrafted by teenaged trafficking victims and at risk girls.

Prevention: It is estimated that a runaway girl will be approached by a pimp within her first 48 hours on the street. Get involved in your community. Become a mentor or tutor at your local school or community center. Build relationships. Relationships are the best prevention.

Some featured resources from the conference this past weekend: http://www.freethecaptiveshouston.com/get-involved.php

And a couple of my favorite resources:
http://www.callandresponse.com/
http://www.polarisproject.org/

Until next time!
Tracy

Colorful Justice: a dangling conversation....

Way back in September, the MY teams had the opportunity to hear a lecture by Michelle Alexander, author of The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness. Her talk had a unique relevance to my life here as I've been learning the stories of ex-convicts in our community, and as I've been learning more about racism. In honor of Martin Luther King Jr. this past week, I'd like to revisit this topic, which is actually overdue...

A quick synopsis:
As the United States celebrates its “triumph over race” with the election of Barack Obama, the majority of black men in major urban areas are under correctional control or saddled with criminal records for life. Jim Crow laws were wiped off the books decades ago, but today an extraordinary percentage of the African American community is warehoused in prisons or trapped in a parallel social universe, denied basic civil and human rights— including the right to vote, the right to serve on juries, and the right to be free of legal discrimination in employment, housing, access to education and public benefits. Today, it is no longer socially permissible to use race explicitly as a justification for discrimination, exclusion, and social contempt. Yet as civil rights lawyer-turned-legal scholar Michelle Alexander demonstrates, it is perfectly legal to discriminate against convicted criminals in nearly all the ways in which it was once legal to discriminate against African Americans. Once labeled a felon, even for a minor drug crime, the old forms of discrimination are suddenly legal again. In her words, “we have not ended racial caste in America; we have merely redesigned it.”
Michelle focuses on the Black community and the issue of drug-related crimes, but she acknowledges that this is only one particular area of focus among many important issues. Her aim is “to stimulate conversation about the role of the criminal justice system in creating and perpetuating racial hierarchy in the U.S.” Rather than outlining statistics, I'll simply recommend you read her book or visit her website (www.newjimcrow.com). What I would like to do here is make a few observations from my own life.

One particular man has been in the back of my mind as I've been thinking through the ideas that Michelle talked about. We met S in September one day at the bus stop. S recently got out of prison after 23 years. He said he would not wish that experience on his worst enemy. Our bus was an hour late, so we got to hear a lot about his crazy life. He was really encouraged to meet us, and has visited our service sites a couple times since we met him. "Mom always said, 'If you set out to do good, you'll meet good people.'" All of his family is gone, and because of what he's gone through, he doesn't trust anyone anymore. He lives in fear of going back to jail. "People approach me for the wrong reasons," he said, "I don't want anything to do with that." He's trying hard to get back on his feet, and, as far as I can tell, is doing an admirable job of it. How does a man like S get back on his feet when he has been branded as a felon for life? When he has been denied basic rights and has little to no chance of getting a job? Where can he find hope of starting a fresh life in a system designed to cripple him? He used to be a welder, but has since developed glaucoma and is blind in his right eye. What are his options?

People released from prison are in desperate need. The stigma of being labeled a felon is the hardest part, and often leads to silence. When people in our communities go to jail, they have a tendency to not talk about it. They just disappear for a while and when they come back, sometimes their families don't even know where they've been. They've just “been away” for a while. These people need safe places for themselves and for their families.

Where do you see racial discrimination?

Our team lives in the North Side. The 78 bus line takes us south toward downtown, and one of the first things I noticed living here is that, as we ride south, the ratio of Blacks to Hispanics seems to directly increase. Houston has a lot of diversity, but there's still a lot of segregation in neighborhoods. I forget sometimes that racism doesn't just happen between Whites and Blacks, Whites and Hispanics, etc. It happens between Blacks and Asians, Hispanics and Africans, etc. There are neighborhoods where railroad tracks literally separate Hispanics and Blacks.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.”

One day Jessi and I visited the post office to pick up some packages. We were waiting in line, and there was a Black man and a Hispanic man ahead of us. I noticed as they went up to the desk to receive their packages that they were each asked to show ID, so I pulled out my wallet to present mine as well when my turn came. But we were never asked to show ours. “Did you see that injustice?” Jessi asked me as the woman went to collect our packages. “They didn't card us.” The Black man overheard her comment and said, “It's because you're white. People say there's no more racism in this country, but that's just an illusion.”

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

On Tuesdays at Fletcher we serve homeless and low-income families by helping them get clothes. I've found it interesting to notice my reaction to people of different races. My comfort level around poor Hispanics seems fairly high, whereas when a White or Black person comes in, suddenly I avoid eye contact or remember to put my bag away. My housemates have expressed other reactions. Some are most comfortable around Blacks or feel very uncomfortable around poor Hispanics, depending on how their life experiences have shaped their perceptions. But many of us seem to agree that homeless white men make us the most uncomfortable...Why is that? I've discovered that I reserve less grace for poor white folk. I get caught in the mentality that, since white people don't have the same societal barriers that “marginalized” groups have, they should be able to help their situation...

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, and every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight; “and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together.”

May the Giver of Dreams expand our capacity to dream. May our imaginations and creativity overflow into our everyday lives, so that “we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual: Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!”

What I love about our life (in no particular order):

Hey friends, some more Christmas break reflections.....

Limited access to internet. After about the first month of walking all the way to the library just to send an email, I sometimes thought: “Okay, I get it. Can I have my internet back now?” But the benefits have far outweighed the inconvenience by now. It is so refreshing to not have constant access to something that so easily swallows my attention and robs me of the joy of fully engaging with real people. I can't keep in touch with everyone I wish I could, even if I did have more access to internet, but I can love those right in front of me.

Budgeting. Since the beginning of college, I have diligently kept track of my finances. However, this is the first time I've had a specific allotment to spend on a monthly basis. What a brilliant strategy for making more thoughtful purchases! Why have I never done this before? I also appreciate the limitations of our grocery budget. We must use creativity and problem-solving (and math) skills to make wise purchases each week, carefully addressing our needs before wants. Not that we haven't experienced an abundance of food thanks to the generosity of friends, but I have noticed how abundance can lead to a loss of appreciation. I find myself feeling frustrated when our pantry or refrigerator is overflowing. When that happens, something inevitably goes to waste, I am more likely to snack even if I'm not hungry, and my gratitude gets lost somewhere in the superfluity. There is beauty in asking God to give us today our daily bread, literally.

Playing with kids. Interacting with kids was not a possibility I actively thought about as I anticipated Mission Year. But, lo and behold, a good chunk of my time is spent doing just that! And I remember how awkward it felt getting into it, but now my life feels so much richer because of it. When was the last time before this that I let my guard down enough to be silly with children? What a relief to give myself permission to do that! And what a joy to teach them and to share with them.
Being generous with my art. I am considering this year a Year of Jubilee for my art. Rather than hoarding and documenting every sketch to prepare it for sale, it has been a breath of fresh air to freely make art and to freely give it.
Public transport. I love not having a car! I don't have to buy gas, and I am less uptight about getting places on time because there is little to nothing I can do to control that. The bus ride to Fletcher in the morning is a blessed deep breath before starting the day, and the ride home a blessed time of deflation and reflection.
Doing life together. I love togetherness. I look forward to devos in the morning, curriculum discussions, making music together, team dinners, team nights...even our team meetings (I am the weird one in our house, clearly.). As someone with an introverted personality, I appreciate that we are placed in a position where we are challenged to be open and vulnerable with one another. It can take a heck of a long time for people to get to know me. I'm not sure I've ever gotten to know people this well in such a short amount of time.

No television. No surprise there. Those of you who know me well are familiar with my disdain for t.v.
Music. Living in a house of musicians has newly brought to my attention how vital and life-giving music is in my life. Music is truly the ultimate catharsis. I think I would die without it.

Seeking justice. It is so encouraging to live in a community of people with a common vision for justice. We are learning how we can take steps toward becoming more responsible consumers and stewards of the earth. As people who are often at the end of a long supply chain, it can be overwhelming to figure out where our products and food come from, but we are owning up to our responsibility, and little by little making adjustments together toward more honorable habits and lifestyles.

Our living situation. There are a number of things that are unique to our team. The typical Mission Year team is not as large as eight people. Teams are usually focused on one community, whereas our team is actively connected to 3-4 communities (neighborhood, service sites, church – this can be viewed as an advantage or disadvantage). Teams do not typically live on old church campuses that are being renovated into exciting new facilities. Teams do not typically have access to the resources that subsequently come along with all these things. (If you hadn't noticed yet, our team wins.) I want to soak up all of these gifts to the fullest.

Happy 2013!

Catching up again....

Hey everyone! It's Christmas break and time to catch up on some overdue reflections...

I came in with positive expectations for Mission Year, but I couldn't have imagined that life would look this beautiful four months down the road. I couldn't have imagined that I would miss so much the people who were strangers just a few months ago. I would go so far as to say that these have been some of the most life-giving months of my life. I feel alive here. I'm learning what it means to live life fully. A slow and incomplete transition is taking place in my heart by simply being present.

A look back....

 

Children have given so much color to our lives in Houston!

A couple "big picture" things I'm learning:

Slow down, let go. Life is less and less about what I do and more about who I am becoming.We do not belong to a kingdom of fast-paced productivity and physical results, but a kingdom in which relationships and personal investments disrupt our schedules. Efficiency and agendas lose priority, and inconveniences can be patiently accepted, even welcomed. I can embrace the trivial moments of waiting for the bus. I can set my project aside to play tag with kids that I love. I can even obey God's good commandment to take delight in the Sabbath, for heaven's sake. When we loosen our grip on seeking security, we get to see miracles. When I stop trying to be so in-control of my life, I build unexpected friendships and become free to enjoy the simple things.

Seek the good in others and affirm it. Even within a Christian community, we each bring our unique backgrounds and perspectives to the table. But rather than getting bogged down by differences, we can build each other up according to our needs and hold onto common ground. We can look for and find the image of God in everyone, especially those who are not like us.We can listen to one another without trying to fix each other.

Recent happenings...

Recording! We finally recorded a song together! And by candlelight, nonetheless. It was awesome. you can listen to it here: http://www.noisetrade.com/baumanroad

Bikes! Jessi and I did our final week at the bike shop. Through the Earn-a-Bike program, we brought home our own bikes for free!

Art from Trash! One Saturday we picked up tires from the neighborhood ditches and painted them with the kids. We're going to plant things in them when we get back!

Dancing! We had a dance night for Scarlet's birthday! She taught us the Charleston, Salsa, and Israeli folk dance, among other things.

Looking ahead....

Gardening: We're going to start growing things!!

Doing it the old-fashioned way: I'm learning how to make my own detergent and hope to hand-wash and line-dry my laundry in an effort to save energy and money.

Murals: There are some beautiful walls waiting to be painted :)

Teaching art class: Go figure.

I am thankful for the chance to catch up with people who have been supporting me throughout this journey, and the chance to step back and take an objective look at what has taken place. I am STOKED for what's ahead and the ways we're learning to live and grow. More reflections to come....

 

Life is Beautiful

(I meant to post this last week, oops...)

My heart is overwhelmed with joy. I've experienced so much beauty in the past couple weeks, and I will try to share some glimpses of it.

Little Friends
We have been so blessed with the opportunity to get to know some wonderful kids in our neighborhood. This first photo features a couple drawings that one of the neighborhood girls drew for us last Saturday. We did sidewalk chalk, played ping pong and toilet tag, got pastries from the Panadería down the road, and I shared my pastels with them and tried to teach them how to draw horses. It was probably my favorite Saturday afternoon yet. Later we got to have them and their moms over for dinner. I am so excited to get to know them!

(Left: "Abi loves to sing, Tracy likes drawing" Right: "To: My BFFs from: Maya")

(The nursery at Fletcher)

It is such an exciting time in Mission Year because we are no longer just a new group of white strangers in town. People are calling us by name and we're building friendships with them!

(Simple Feast - James Bute Park)

Simple, beautiful moments from this past month:

Massage trains

Meeting people at bus stops and on the bus

Writing and recieving notes of encouragment

Music together

Volleyball in the park

Snuggling

Getting picked first for dodgeball :)

Unscheduled book discussions

Exploring the city

Ping pong

Sidewalk chalking

Soccer in the park

There is absolutely nothing else I would rather be doing with this season of my life.

 

 

Enjoy your week, friends